The Hold Still Project with the Princess of Wales & our life in Covid lockdown
In 2019, we were so excited to be expecting another beautiful baby to welcome into our family, blissfully unaware of what 2020 would bring and how much of an impact that would have on his early years development and family life for all of us.
We found out we were pregnant on September 30th 2019, I surprised my husband with a pregnancy test in a bag of minstrels & a cup of tea and I couldn’t resist a cheeky ‘announcement’ on social media without really telling everyone :) We even managed to navigate a family wedding (including trying dresses on with my Mum), multiple birthday celebrations, pretend Prosecco drinking & Christmas festivities while pregnant and no-one knew! It was such an exciting time…we really had no idea how life would soon completely change.
We announced to immediate family that baby no.3 was a boy on Christmas Day with cards, a scan photo and lots of blue glitter! There were tears from my Niece who desperately wanted a girl to join the family (you and me both kid 🤫) and plenty of ‘another boy?!’ reactions but I was ready to embrace life as a boy Mama and couldn’t wait to see what he would look like!
We headed into January 2020 by finally announcing to the world that another baby Harris was on his way and it was lovely working in The Cabin as my bump got bigger and having lots of families be excited for us to grow our little family. We had a lovely weekend away at Center Parcs for my eldest son’s 4th birthday followed by his 1st ever birthday party with his friends soon after.
Mid-January and our 20 week scan went as planned, hospital appointments were all still ‘normal’ at that point. My youngest started pre-school with his big brother which was an exciting milestone. February 2020 was a busy one; I celebrated my birthday on Valentine’s Day, our wedding anniversary 2 days later and my brother’s birthday 2 days after that. Little did we know that would be the last time we would all be together for months.
There had been bits in the news about Covid-19 or Coronavirus and people falling mysteriously ill around the world and being asked to leave China, a handful of deaths and talks of lockdowns in Europe. The first I remember being really concerned was when Leigh (my Husband) went on a stag do to Portugal in early March and they started to close the airports right when he was due to be flying home. Mid-March saw toilet rolls flying off the shelves, extra cleaning and special measures being put into place in The Cabin so I could keep working safely. It was so awful to see on the news and social media how families were struggling with loss and trying to make sense of what was happening. It was a really sad time and my heart goes out to anyone who lost a loved-one to this awful disease.
There was a lot of talk on the news about social distancing, working from home, pregnant people being high-risk due to the unknown effects of babies in utero catching covid, wearing masks when out and about and it all got very scary, very quickly. Mother’s Day 2020 was spent delivering afternoon tea and gifts through windows, my boys’ pre-school was closed, rainbows were drawn & stuck to our window and a life of entertaining at home (I’ve never done so much baking, making, building & colouring), mask-wearing, home haircuts, banging pots & clapping at 7pm on a Thursday, self-isolating and daily walks began.
On the 23rd March 2020 the UK went into lockdown. I announced on my social media that the studio was closed and it was so hard especially for all those Mama’s due to come in before we were closing for maternity leave for newborn and maternity photos knowing they would miss this chance. It was heartbreaking but we had to do what we could to stay safe and keep our little ones safe too. I tried to use my social media to provide positivity, keep people safe, send tips for photographing babies at home and raise money for good causes too just so I was doing something that might help a little.
With hospital guidelines changing all the time, we were so uncertain for how much of the birth Leigh would even be able to be there for, and what this would even look like in the hospital. Pregnancy appointments and daily walks were the only reasons I would leave the house, Leigh would do all the shopping and even that terrified me. We started missing birthdays and celebrations and we became very insulated in our little family bubble. If I did go to an appointment and someone coughed I’d be worried I’d caught Covid and I was convinced something bad was going to happen when we did have the baby.
On the 7th May 2020, I had This Morning on in the background of daily lockdown life when the Duchess of Cambridge, as she was then, was on the show to talk about her new project - Hold Still with the National Portrait Gallery. As a photographer, I listened intently wondering if I would ever be able to take a photo worthy of submission. You can watch the full segment here but the premise was that the public were invited to contribute photos to the project giving a glimpse into life during lockdown and 100 would be chosen to form part of the project.
I adore the Princess of Wales and had for a long time so my ears definitely pricked up hearing her voice and the project sounded incredible. I made sure to have in the back of my head that if I took a really special image I would submit it to the project but I had no idea what it might be of or what it would look like. The submission timeframe was only 6 weeks between May & June so there wasn’t a lot of time for a worthy image to be taken.
I don’t recall thinking too much about it after that. As we got closer to our baby being born, places started to figure out ways of opening safely so we frequented the Daisy Made drive thru often and I even braved a socially distanced, outdoor meet-up with my Mum, Sister and pregnant bestie. I planned the outfits the boys would all wear to meet each other to keep my spirits up not knowing when or where that would be, my family planned a lovely baby shower on Zoom (which was really nice because family who might not have made it to a real one were able to join in) and we did our own maternity photos in The Cabin to keep things as normal as possible.
We were booked in for a planned c-section on the 28th May 2020 and it felt so eery to be in a hospital at that time. Everyone was in masks so it was quite difficult to hear medical staff or read expressions and the room felt more clinical somehow than with my first c-section. There was minimal equipment in the room, there wasn’t any music on and we weren’t permitted to video the birth like we had been with my second child. We requested clear drapes so we could see the baby as quickly as possible without the need to lower them like we had with the blue drapes previously. These two factors turned out to be the catalyst to everything that followed :)
The lead up to the c-section brought a lot of fears and tears to the surface. I hadn’t been leaving the house much at all so wasn’t used to wearing a mask and only being able to make eye contact across the room to Leigh meant I couldn’t talk to him properly as I was having the epidural and I just felt so fearful something was going to go wrong that the tears just wouldn’t stop from that point on. Clear drapes were pretty new to the hospital so the confusion over installing them meant I felt quite suffocated by them initially, it was a very scary time and I just wanted the baby out safely. The staff did everything they could to reassure me everything was going to be ok and I’m so thankful to them for delivering my baby safely.
The relief when Indy was born was like nothing I’ve ever experienced. He was placed on my chest and immediately pushed himself up against the clear drape, smearing vernix all over it (!) and pushing his little face against my mask through the drape. In the absence of video Leigh was on hand with his phone and snapped away the whole time so we would remember this incredible moment.
We hadn’t brought a hat with us so the hospital provided a yellow knitted one which only just fit his head and looked both cute and absolutely ridiculous at the same time! He was the double of my other two boys when they were babies and it was the most amazing feeling to be holding a newborn again, even if we were still in our masks. We would take them off in our cubicle but had to put them back on if anyone came in so they mostly stayed under our chins.
Leigh was able to stay for 7 hours in the end after Indy was born but we weren’t allowed to go onto the ward together. I knew family would be so sad not to see him so I arranged for ‘Pocket Hugs’ to be delivered to doorsteps to go along with a little card. As hard as it was not having the support from Leigh, the hospital meeting on the bed I’d planned in my head for so long for the boys or any visitors, it was really lovely having my little baby boy all to myself!
Due to complications we were in hospital a couple of days before we could come home and begin our life as a family of 5. Initially, Orlando (my now middle boy) had some reservations about his new brother while Solo (my eldest) adored him instantly. After a bumpy start they soon all became the absolute best of friends they still are today.
We met immediate family outdoors, socially-distanced and for short periods of time over the next few weeks before allowing little cuddles after that. Luckily the weather that summer was glorious and made it seem less of an issue than it might have been otherwise.
As so many people that would have wanted to meet him weren’t able to, I created a ‘first week of Indy’s life’ album on Facebook and added lots of lovely photos from that time to give people a glimpse into our what we were experiencing and how we were adapting during this strange time as family with a newborn baby. There were a few images from his birth in there and it made me really look again at one image Leigh had taken after having this conversation about it…
Luckily, I was wrong…submissions for the Hold Still Project were still open! I went about submitting this photo just before the deadline of the 18th June and was just so grateful to even be part of the submission process, not really thinking anything would come of it. It was free to enter and you needed to submit a photo and a description or caption as well as the name of who took the photo. I still remember being very envious that although I was the photographer in the family, my wonderful Husband had taken this incredible image and that it was his name that would be displayed as the photographer (and rightly so) but I felt very grateful to be IN the image so I took that as a win…and then shamefully wrote Ali & Leigh Harris alongside it!!
There were three categories you could enter an image into;
Helpers & Heroes
Acts of Kindness
Your New NormaI
It clearly didn’t belong in the first two categories so I entered it into ‘Your New Normal’ as this felt like what this birth was; meeting my newborn baby with a mask on and trying to make that feel like a new kind of normal in such strange times. I had to now think of a description of the image to go alongside this incredible moment and I was brought back to the quick caption I added on Facebook ‘Kisses for Mama’ and that’s how ‘The First Kiss’ description came about!
“This is the moment that our third baby boy came into the world, in the middle of a pandemic, surrounded by medical staff in full PPE, and the first thing he did was try to give his Mummy a kiss through the protective screening and Mummy's mask. This beautiful moment was captured by Daddy, Leigh, and it was love at first sight for all of us and we have been besotted ever since. Despite everything going on in the world, children and babies in particular have a way of keeping us grounded and focused (most of the time!) and we are so proud to have brought a new life into the world during the height of this pandemic.”
Had I known it was going to be seen all over the world and subsequently published in a book I might have written the caption a bit differently, maybe check the grammar (!), but it felt right at the time and I hoped it explained well what was happening in the image. Once it was submitted we just went about our little lockdown lives enjoying spending the summer making memories, watching the boys bond with their baby brother and trying to get back to normal as much as we could including getting back to photographing little ones in The Cabin again (using as much PPE as I could use)!
On the evening of the 11th August, which also happened to be my Dad’s birthday, we received the most amazing email (that I somehow I didn’t see until the next day). I had to read it through a few times to understand that our photo (ok, Leigh’s photo) had been selected as one of the top 100 images out of 31,598 entries!! We were very much sworn to secrecy about the whole thing, which made it even more exciting…of course I immediately sent the email to our immediate families’ group chats!
It’s funny to look back on me saying “and hopefully print something for Indy’s memory box” because I was so worried with lockdown that there wouldn’t be anything to put in Indy’s memory box compared to our first two boys and he’s got more in his than all of our other children’s boxes combined! There was more in store for us quite quickly thought as once I returned the photographer’s form (and shamefully tried for a business plug by changing the submission name to Mama Bear Photography - which sadly didn’t work) we were contacted to let us know that our image had been selected as part of an early-release of images to the press and that it was going to be published in The Times Sunday magazine! Well, I just couldn’t believe it. The chances of the image being chosen for the project out of over 31,000 entries were so small and to then make up part of an even smaller selection was just surreal. We were briefed on what to do if other press contact us after the feature goes to print which all started to feel a bit scary but so exciting too.
I couldn’t contain my excitement when the @kensingtonroyal Instagram account (now @princeandprincessofwales) shared something about the final 100 of the project! To think that the Princess of Wales had not just seen our image but chosen it to be part of the final 100 was just mind-blowing to me, it still is! On Sunday 30th August, I was straight to the shops first thing with my eldest Solo, still in his pyjamas & bleary-eyed from waking up too early, and Indy asleep in the car to buy as many copies of The Times as we could so we could door-step deliver them to our families so they would get to see them as soon as they woke up! It was incredible seeing the image in print like that and to be on the same page as a photo of the Princess was just an amazing feeling.
I couldn’t resist a little photoshoot with Indy and our first ever feature! I wanted to capture as much of all of this for him as I could and try not to forget anything as I know how amazing this will be for all of us to look back at it in the future. This video was released about the selection process which I really enjoyed watching and to know that this group of people had discussed our image at some point was incredible.
The images chosen alongside ours to be released early were just so beautifully heart-warming and heart-breaking in equal measure and it was so powerful to be seeing our image among the others. The next thing that happened blew my mind even more…the @kensingtonroyal Instagram account had posted an actual email from ‘C’ about the Final 100 images and then our image featured on their stories!! It felt like we were everywhere at that time because then other accounts started to share it too and it was just such a lovely experience to have when life at that time felt so different to normal, it felt like something really special happening to our family out of what was such a scary time and it really kept our mind off how lonely the situation we were in was with a newborn baby.
I was told the full 100 were to be announced on the 14th September (another special date as it was mine and Leigh’s anniversary so it felt like it was all meant to be at times) and that while those images in the early release could discuss our involvement, the other 92 submissions couldn’t do so until the 14th. I couldn’t wait to see the rest of the images, the ones we’d seen were so powerful that the full set was always going to be incredible. Before the final 100 were announced there was another exciting feature in Hello! magazine with a gorgeous photo of Kate too and seeing the image in print again and in a magazine I actually read (sorry to The Times!) was so lovely. We also had online features with Town & Country, Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar and it was also shown on BBC News!
We had such a great reception to our image from the judges too with Nick Cullinan, the Director of The National Portrait Gallery, choosing our image among only 7 images in total in our category as his ‘Director’s Choice’ and another member of the panel, Lemn Sissay MBE, highlighting just our photo from the full 100 on his blog when the full collection was released. There were plenty of features on the @kensingtonroyal instagram featuring the full 100 images which was just incredible to be a part of. With everything happening in the world at that time, we definitely had imposter syndrome being included along so many truly powerful images of lockdown but at the same time so unbelievably grateful to have been chosen.
As a supporter of the Royal Family, to know how much The Duchess of Cambridge was involved in the selection and promotion of the project was amazing enough as I knew when we had been chosen that she would have definitely seen the image so for her to share it on their personal Instagram was more amazing still but once it was mentioned that The Queen had seen a selection of the images I just couldn’t believe it! I so hoped one of them that she’d seen had been ours and I hoped that with the press surrounding our image there would be a good chance. When a letter from The Queen was published I knew that would be one of the most amazing things to treasure from this whole experience.
It really snowballed after that and we had coverage on national and local news with a film crew coming from Look North to talk to us about the feature which was completely surreal. You weren’t allowed to meet in groups more than 6 at the time so as they had an interviewer and a camera man, only Leigh and I and two of our three boys could be included but thankfully they asked for lots of video of the boys and Indy’s life in general to accompany the feature so we were able to include them all that way instead which made it really special. That was such an incredible moment, sitting in our living room watching the TV and all of us were on it! A little snippet of this interview is here.
We had a Japanese News station contact us for an interview - that was definitely the furthest we thought it had travelled…until my friend in Australia sent me photo of it on their news! The Japanese interview was slightly terrifying as they wanted the boys to be involved and Orlando in particular really could have come out with anything at any time! He was going through a Godzilla watching/playing phase at the time so shouted ‘GODZILLA’ in the middle of the interview! The ground could have swallowed us up right there! We also had a radio interview with 5 Live’s Clare McDonnell, Radio Lincolnshire with Melvyn Prior and a printed feature in Lincolnshire Live but the most nerve-wracking thing was still yet to come!
I was used to getting emails through with exciting bits of ‘embargoed’ information but I wasn’t used to the Hold Still team calling me so when my phone rang and they asked how we were etc I did wonder if it was leading somewhere…we had been chosen as one of a small handful of finalists who were to receive a personal phone call from The Duchess of Cambridge! I remember crying a lot at just the thought that I would be talking to her, thankfully we had a few days before the call took place so I could compose myself a bit but wow, what an absolute honour and incredible thing to be able to tell the boys! The future Queen of England was going to be phoning little old us! When the day came I was a bundle of nerves, I knew I wouldn’t remember anything we said so I set up Leigh’s phone to record the call and just hearing “Good afternoon, it’s Buckingham Palace here, I’ve got a call for you with Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge” was enough to nearly make me throw my phone across the room! Hearing The Duchess of Cambridge say my name was the most surreal thing so far and the next 15 minutes would be a total blur! She started by saying the image had “touched the hearts of all of the judging panel, it was such a moving image”. We talked about how different this birth was to our first birth experience, the photo and how it came to be taken, the irony of the non-photographer taking this amazing photo, how she loved the title and the caption I wrote, our children, baby groups, schools re-opening and she thanked us for sharing “a hugely personal time for you obviously shared now in a very public way, it was a very brave image to share with everyone but it definitely resonated with lots of families out there”. I was told afterwards that most other phone calls were much shorter and she ‘enjoyed talking to us’. It’s quite hard to listen back to that conversation as I don’t like the sound of my own voice and talk way too much but so very special to have had that opportunity.
An agency that supplies content to media outlets got in touch to interview us and this is when I started to feel like this story was being spun more for a click-bait media angle as the clear drapes we requested so we could see Indy be born were being called ‘plastic sheets’ so I did have to repeatedly correct this in the hopes it didn’t go out to media with that angle. Once I’d approved the interview and it was released to media I found that although many of my words were quoted correctly in the articles, the headlines would be more sensationalised. We had features in The Sun newspaper and The Metro that were more from this angle which did make it sound more clinical than it was, The Sun in particular saying we missed out on skin-to-skin due to our ‘Covid labour’ which really wasn’t the case! There were also a few negative comments on social media from strangers alongside our photo saying our baby was ‘born into plastic’ and similar things as they just didn’t understand what was happening in the photo (or had their own Covid-agendas). It was hard seeing our image used in this way but thankfully all the amazingly positive things that happened alongside this more than outweighed the negativity and confusion.
At the end of September we were told that the Hold Still project would be going outdoors! The National Portrait Gallery was closed at that time for renovations so the team had been thinking of ways to get the exhibition to the public across the country and the images would be displayed on billboards, high streets and bus stops around the UK in large cities and the communities that the photographers are based in. Sadly, we were informed that due to the ‘sensitive nature’ of our image we were not able to be included in the showing of our image as a stand alone image. I was gutted about this as it would have been so exciting to see the image displayed like this but I also understood it could be a very triggering and shocking image to see in this way.
We were able to be included in an outdoor digital display at The Arboretum in Staffordshire where the screen was installed to display the full 100 images on rotation. We didn’t get chance to visit this but thankfully a family member sent me a photo of our image being displayed which was incredible! I am still gutted we didn’t go and see this in person though. I was truly thrilled when I saw that the full 100 portraits had been displayed on a huge billboard outside Waterloo station in South London AND that The Duke & Duchess of Cambridge had been to visit it! I’m convinced Kate is telling William all about our phone call in that photo of them clearly looking at our image :)
Over the next few months in the lead up to Christmas there were trickles of requests and exciting top secret announcements being sent via email. Our image was selected to be printed, framed and hung on a wall inside Kensington Palace which would form the backdrop of an Early Year’s speech The Duchess of Cambridge was giving and while sadly that didn’t end up happening we were delighted to be included in a handful of images shown during another video on the same topic shown on her website. It still shocks me every time I see the image unexpectedly included in something like this as we just feel so very lucky. Meanwhile, we were just living our lockdown lives, venturing out and about a bit more and trying to get Indy used to other people as he was just so used to being at home. I was trying to get back into photographing families and catching up on missed shoots every time there was a lockdown. In a 12 month period we were only open for 4 months on and off with all the lockdowns and restrictions and a little maternity leave!
Rainbows were everywhere, we were home-schooling our 4/5 year old who should have been in school with his little friends, we were celebrating birthdays through our kitchen window and we seemed to spend more time in masks than out of them but it all became strangely familiar and even normal. My dog still gets excited now (4 years on) if he hears us opening the kitchen window as he thinks we have a visitor! I tried to make the best of it in The Cabin too; having keepsake tokens made for my little lockdown babies, doing photoshoots with a rainbow backdrop for commemorative photos and keeping safe going back to volunteer for Remember My Baby in the hospital too.
The next exciting development actually happened because of my lovely Mum…as she worked at Lincoln County Hospital she happened to be speaking to one of the drs who delivered Indy about the Hold Still image of his birth and he’d mentioned how lovely it would be to have something in the hospital to celebrate the image…lots of conversations then started to happen between myself and the team at ULHT which resulted in us gifting two large framed prints of our image to be hung in the antenatal assessment unit and also outside the labour ward as a thank you to the team there who looked after us, and for all families having babies during this crazy time. It was amazing going in and gifting these; a place where all 3 of my babies (and most recently the 4th) have all been born and now this image would be adorning the walls for all the families having babies there to see! Fun fact, the wall of baby photos in the images below in hospital also has an image of our eldest on it taken (again by Leigh!) just after he was born - the one to the left of the word love!
We received a letter of thanks from the hospital after we gifted the framed prints which was so lovely. There was a part of the letter that really touched me…
“The photograph is beautiful and helps other parents anticipate and plan for their own planned Caesarean birth. We have already had lots of positive feedback on the images from mothers and staff in the departments.“
Having recently been back to Lincoln County Hospital for my 4th baby, it was such a lovely feeling to see both images still up on the walls. Especially the one in the antenatal assessment centre as it was so strange sitting in a room of people that had no idea the Mum in that photo was in the room with them! I couldn’t resist taking photos of the images every time I saw them. Our 4th baby was a planned c-section and this time we chose the blue drapes and to have them lowered as our daughter was born. I wanted to keep the clear drapes as a memory shared with our little lockdown babe but I would definitely recommend them for Mamas eager to see baby as soon as possible during a Caesarean!
At the same time as we were discussing the gifting of the framed images for the hospital, Look North got in touch wanting to do a follow-up piece on us to see how the last 6 months had been for us living in lockdown. I was so excited for this as the journalist asked if I’d “been keeping photographs since we last spoke so we could maybe look to show how it’s been through pictures” and I don’t think she had any idea what she’d let herself in for asking that! I had photos and video every single day so narrowing them down was the hardest bit! They were limiting sending their crew anywhere so they asked if we could record some bits to camera and gave pointers on what to talk about and it felt very strange to be filming ourselves but this was by far my most favourite feature so far as it really told our story of lockdown. They ran a piece online as well as lunchtime and evening features and it was just wonderful.
I had to share the feature in full because it really does encompass everything that happened to us in that year, it made me cry so much the first time it was shown, my Dad and the piano at the end with Indy’s little squeal as the boys’ kissed him on the head just floored me. It looked absolutely beautiful all put together in the way they did with the hospital footage as well and I’ve watched it so many times since (while cringing at the sound of my own voice and disliking seeing my face, of course)!
Watching this feature with the boys was such a special moment. Seeing their little faces on the TV while they were watching it at the same time was something I just knew I wanted to capture - how often does that happen to normal families?!
We’d been sworn to secrecy in January that there was going to be a book published of all the Hold Still images so with that and the call with The Duchess of Cambridge it was so hard not to talk about both when doing press interviews! We didn’t hear much more about the book until the end of March when we found out it was finally going to be announced on the 28th March (a day before my sister’s birthday, almost another very special date). We were excited to be gifted two copies of the book as well; one of which is currently in The Cabin so families can look through it whenever they like and the other is being safely kept in our ‘lockdown memory box’ so the boys have a pristine copy of something so special. The first mention of it was on the @kensingtonroyal instagram where The Duchess of Cambridge herself (her stunning engagement ring was visible for posterity) unboxed a prototype of the book. The book was also featured in Hello magazine and I had no idea until I saw it on the shelves then imagine my surprise when our image was once again chosen to feature alongside the announcement!
As part of the book launch we were also sworn to secrecy that The National Portrait Gallery was “to acquire the final 100 digital portraits for the Gallery’s permanent Collection. This means your photograph and the Hold Still project will be conserved for further generations as part of our national Collection.” The Duchess of Cambridge announced this news on her Instagram with a short video tour of The National Portrait Gallery alongside the caption:
“Preserving #HoldStill2020 for future generations in the @nationalportraitgallery’s Archive: Today the final 100 Hold Still images have become part of the Gallery’s national Collection, joining over 250,000 photographs spanning from the 1840s through to the present day. We were taken through other photographs from the Gallery’s Collection, which dates back to the 19th century — all documenting people’s experiences and key moments in our nation’s social history. The net proceeds raised from the Hold Still book, that goes on sale today, will be split between @mindcharity and @nationalportraitgallery, helping to support arts and mental health projects across the UK.”
What an absolutely incredible project to play a small part in! The book became an Amazon and Times Number 1 Best Seller and is the most beautiful collection of the 100 images with the text accompanying each image adding everyone’s personal perspective on what they were experiencing and their story behind the image. The addition of photos of the billboards, the digital display and other promotional aspects all just add to what an incredible piece this is and we will treasure our copies. You can buy a copy from Amazon and the net proceeds from the sale of the book will be equally split to support the work of the National Portrait Gallery and Mind, the mental health charity.
It all went quiet on the Hold Still front for a while after that. The world slowly started to re-open, restrictions started to ease and the world found ways to live with Covid. Vaccines started to be rolled out and with that lockdowns, tiers, social-distancing, bubbles and self-isolating started to filter out of our vocabulary. Even now, it doesn’t seem as strange as it would in the pre-covid world to see someone wearing a face-mask in a shop or to hear that an entire office ‘works from home’, it’s a different world now and I think we are a lot more accepting of ways to prioritise our health and mental wellbeing.
Indy really struggled in those early years to adapt to seeing other children and adults. During celebrations for his 1st birthday he would never have seen that many people (we had different groups spread over 3 days so it wasn’t a huge gathering still) and he stuck to me like glue and would be very upset if we were apart. It was hard at times to be ‘his person’ but the bond we had, and still do, made it feel very special too. As places opened up I tried taking him to things where children his age would be such as messy play classes and he would either cry or just walk away if another child came near him. Luckily, after some tears at times being without his Daddy or me, he still enjoyed his time with his Grandparents and they became our primary childcare for him so in the absence of time with other children he certainly made up on not being able to see much of them that first year. He also had his cousins who he really started to adore the more they saw of each other.
I developed a real rainbow obsession as well around lockdown so his 1st birthday was all rainbow themed and probably 90% of his wardrobe too! I also started to really enjoy wearing a mask, especially in The Cabin. They were causing havoc with my skin but then I could use them to hide my skin too so it was a double-edged sword. I did love my pink and black silky ones though and Indy would always try and kiss me when I had a mask on!
He became happier with children he saw regularly around the age of 2 so that was a huge relief but we had to try multiple times to settle him into pre-school and were told he had “the worst separation anxiety they’d ever seen” and you could really see it in him. I really thought because he had two big brothers he would settle easily into a school setting but he was just so settled with them at home he found it so difficult. My two older boys thankfully settled well into school life, a few bumps here and there but nothing I could blame on Covid!
Growing up he loved Peppa Pig, rocket lollies, apples, dinosaurs, tea & biscuits and little figures - all things he still loves now! His confidence has really grown over the years and he has the best smile and the cheekiest little laugh and brings us all so much joy.
In May we were told there would be a digital display of all images in The National Portrait Gallery when it re-opened after being closed for the last three years for refurbishment. They asked for updates if there were any relating to the image so I took the opportunity to add a little Indy update: “Indy is a very happy, cuddly, funny and kind little boy who still loves to give Mummy lots of kisses.” Thankfully by this point he’d shaken off his separation anxiety and was living a happy life with a lovely group of besties at pre-school and was absolutely fine going into most situations. I was so worried that being in lockdown had made him so nervous but it seemed it was all becoming a distant memory for him.
We were into July before we heard any more about it and we were invited to a press event in London at The National Portrait Gallery…I of course hoped The Princess of Wales would make an appearance but sadly not! I did have a photo with a gorgeous painting of her and The Prince of Wales which felt like the next best thing! We’d also just (days before) found out we were pregnant with our 4th baby so it all felt like it was coming full circle and I was so excited to not have another lockdown labour, birth and baby! So off Leigh and I went to London to meet other photographers from the book and see the exhibition in real life! As much as I didn’t love the ‘plastic sheet’ wording it was amazing that our image had been mentioned in the main description of the project!
It was such an exciting morning seeing it all come together, waiting for our image to flash up on the screens and taking it in turns to take each other’s photos, seeing real-life people looking at our image - all so surreal! This was all just the cherry on top of a beautiful cake. Standing alongside the other photographers and subjects from the Hold Still portraits (you can just see Leigh and I on the back row on the left hand side) just felt like such a special moment in time. I always love going to London, the novelty doesn’t wear off for me so that made it feel even more patriotic that we had been invited to something that would live on as a historic record of how the nation experienced the pandemic.
© David Parry / National Portrait Gallery, London
5 and a bit years later and Indy is happy, confident, fun to be around, usually up to mischief or fabricating wild stories and passing them off as real life events, the best big brother to our daughter; he’s now known as ‘Dindy’ and he is so sweet and snuggly. Lockdown may have given him a difficult start in terms of forming relationships but he still has the same great group of friends from pre-school, starting school with them in 2024, and he absolutely smashed his first year there - not a hint of separation anxiety! He just celebrated his 5th birthday with a big party where he was loving all the attention - something I never thought would happen even 2 years before!
The pandemic made sure that our boys’ early years saw them growing up very close to Leigh and I as well as each other and we were lucky enough to cherish that time, and sometimes miss it now with how busy life can be! I definitely don’t miss wearing masks though, neither does my skin! Seeing masks instantly transports me back to that image though and makes me very grateful that we were kept safe during such a sad time for many families who weren’t as lucky as us.
We definitely feel very grateful for this time and a big thank you to my Husband for taking the most incredible image (he took some amazing ones at our daughter’s birth too so perhaps we should be opening a birth photography business)! This image brought us the most amazing opportunities as a family and brought us even closer than we were before with some wonderful memories to go alongside it all!